YES, money does change us!
It changes our behaviour.
Think about how differently you behave when you get scared about money.

Back in September I did a This Is Private Practice FB live video after I had been to see my accountant.  This meeting was positive overall, but it got me thinking about how money changes us – you can watch the full episode here by clicking on the image below.

We all like to think that money doesn’t change us, or it won’t change us – when we have plenty of it.  But what about right now, or when things are tight. Or when you have more bills to pay than you have cash in your accounts?  Yeah, Money changes us!

What happens to your body when your credit card is declined, or you can’t make payroll tomorrow?   Stomach clenching, teeth grinding, do we lose sleep, do we panic, do we make plans to sell our children?  Is that our normal way of behaving? So, then it is true, money does change us.

Right now, I’m going through a significant growth phase in my business. To execute the growth, I am going to need financial support.  To do that I am going to ask someone to loan me what feels like a LOT of money.  The idea of this amount of credit makes me feel so scared that I am nauseous.

Money makes me scared.  It makes me anxious and in taps into my deepest fears.  That being, I’m not good enough.  No one will love me and that I will be abandoned.

When I get scared especially in my business I try to control things.  I become the micro manager.  I try to control work that others are very capable of doing.  I get in their way, we trip over each other, they are resentful, and I am annoyed, but I cling to this sense of control because, it makes me feel safe.

My behaviour changes from the kind, patient, strategic human that I normally am, to a task driven over controlling ogre who sends back one word replies to emails because I am being helpful just answering the question Goddammit.

I am living out of my deepest fears.

All because of money.

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself “Abraham Maslow.

When we get scared, the thinking rational part of our brain (pre-frontal cortex) is overrun by the primitive, knee jerking responsive part of the brain (limbic system).  This part of our brain is very powerful.  It is the part of our brain that keeps us safe.  When we are scared we are not safe.  The primitive part of our brain doesn’t know it is just money. It’s thinking OH MY GOODNESS Jo is under threat and we need to help her be safe.

Our brain engages in safety seeking behaviour.  The kind of behaviour we have used before that has helped us to feel safe.   Now in very simplistic terms we will fall into 1 of two camps.  We will fall into the I want to control all the tasks and get all the tasks completed camp.  OR we will fall into I need to help all the people, and make sure all the people are looked after camp. Neither of these camps are helpful when managing fear around money.

Bringing this to your awareness will cause you to do one of two things:

1. You will do nothing and move onto the next email in your inbox … OR
2. You will start reflecting on how money changes your behaviour. When you are scared about money how does it change you?

What do you think?  Have you gained any insights into how money changes for you?  Hit reply and let me know.

Here’s to your success!

Jo