You’re a failure.
There, I said it.
How many times have you told yourself the same thing today?
Check in with yourself now – what track has your inner monologue been playing for you lately? Here are some classics:
The “You’re Not Good Enough” Radio
“You’re a Fraud and Everybody Knows It’“s Greatest Hits
Maybe…. “Who do You Think You Are” Nation
or my personal favourite: The “Not today, maybe someday” easy listening playlist.
We all have that inner mean-girl that likes to remind us how incapable and untalented we are.
Even worse, we fool ourselves into thinking that we can beat her into submission. (*hint – at the end of the post I’m sharing a way to get her under your control….)
And so…. you try to become more skilled to quieten the voice that says you don’t know enough – that you aren’t enough.
You wait for validation and permission to go out on a limb in your practice.
You diligently sit and gather more information, more resources, more tools and tips and worksheets, just in case the next one is THE ONE that will finally guarantee your success.
This is the quiet voice of self-sabotage.
It’s a deceptive one. One that you might miss if you’re not looking close enough. Maybe you’re reading this blog and just about to click away because you’re thinking, “Jo, I’m not sabotaging myself. I’m doing everything I can. I’m working so hard.”
And look – I know how hard you’re working. I know how much you desperately want things to work out, and to build a life and practice that gives you freedom, fulfilment and flexibility. But somehow, you still feel trapped. Stuck.
I know, because I’ve been you.
Which means I can get away with telling you this: you are getting in your own way.
We all do. This happens to everyone. You’re NOT a failure because you didn’t have an amazing, productive day.
But I just have to ask you…
Are you being real with yourself about it? Do you know what’s really going for you, and why it keeps on happening?
All that time you spend gathering “intel” before making a move? That’s self-sabotage, helping you avoid putting yourself out there and taking real action.
The three hours you’ve spent being a keyboard warrior and fighting off emails (and scrolling through Facebook again)? That’s self-sabotage, helping you avoid the work that you know will actually move you closer towards your goals.
All those times you promised yourself you would do one thing and did the opposite? That’s self-sabotage, keeping you in your comfort zone.
The truth is that you will never get rid of that mean-girl soundtrack for good. Sometimes she’s loud, sometimes she’s a quiet sense of doubt and hesitation that you can’t quite put your finger on.
So – what are we supposed to do?
How do you make a commitment to action even when the voice of dissent is still there?
And what if your loudest critic lives inside your own head?
Well, you’re already further along than most people. You can’t address self-sabotage until you’ve identified that it’s happening. It looks a little bit like….
- procrastination
- perfectionism
- avoiding tasks and reaching out to people
- not having difficult conversations
- refusing to make a change because it’ll be too hard, or too much work
- getting struck into “busy work” and research
- comparing yourself to others
- listening to other people whose opinion isn’t relevant
So when you catch yourself doing this, it’s time to tune in – what’s happening here? What’s the payoff involved in engaging in this task (or avoiding it) right now?
And ask yourself – is this moving me closer to my version of success?
If the answer is no – what small thing could you do right now to be just one step closer?
If you’re ready to dive deeper – to really understand the root causes behind how you’re getting in your own way, why things aren’t moving forward despite how hard you’re working, I want you to join me in a free live workshop next week.
FREE WORKSHOP:
Together, we’ll:
- Identify your criteria for success
- Pinpoint how your daily behaviour is holding you back from being successful in your practice
- Create a 5 step plan to kick self-sabotage to the curb now
Plus, you’ll get a chance to receive FREE private practice consulting with me for 3 whole months.
Imagine what you could achieve with three months of targeted support.
Seriously – I’ve never offered something like this before, so make sure you click below to save your seat for a chance to get some focused coaching around your practice.
Let me know in the comments below – how does self-sabotage show up for you?
