I have a question I want to ask, are you doing what you said you would do?
Now this blog post is around 1500 words, so you have two options here.
- you can watch the video (9 ½ mins with captions) OR
- you can read the full text
I’m pretty sure everyone who has read this statement has just gone – well yes of course. I go, hmmmm really?
As clinicians and health professionals, we are all about doing the clinical work properly. We become quite nervous, stressed and anxious at any thought that someone might perceive us as incompetent.
We are very focused on making sure that when the person is in the room with us (or wherever it is we do our thing) we are doing the work properly. We can actually get lost in the myth that what happens inside the container of the intervention “room” is our work, the beginning and end of our job.
Uh, no. When you’re in private practice and especially when you’re in private practice for yourself, that is not the sum total of our job. We have a responsibility outside of the room to our clients.
Outside of the room to our clients does not mean free treatment or therapy at all. That is not what I’m talking about. What I want to discuss is are you doing what you say you’re going to do?
Are you following up when you say you are going to?
Are you providing information when you said you’re going to provide information?
Are you charging for cancellations when you’ve said that you would?
If you have a policy that says, ‘I charge for cancellations’, are you charging? If you have a rescheduling policy are you enforcing this? Or are you like many other people on the interwebs getting frustrated and annoyed at your clients because they are not following your policies? The ones you haven’t been enforcing.
If you are not enforcing your own polices, you’re behaving in a way that tells your clients that your policies don’t matter.
You think you’re being nice and kind and that will make your clients like you more. You think, Oh, I’m not going to charge them for this this time. I’m not going to enforce that policy that time. Or they had a thing happen or they had this happen or they…. OK Great. If this is the way you want to do business, that’s wonderful and please just get rid of the policy that says if you cancel within 24 hours, I’m going to charge your credit card. And please stop complaining to me that people don’t pay your cancellation fee (especially when you don’t charge them).
Or if you are unable to reschedule in these, these, or these time frames, then I’m sorry but I can’t help you, but I can help you find someone else.
Again you might think you’re actually being nice by bending over backwards, turning into a pretzel by trying to handle all the texting backwards and forward, waiting to see what person takes which spot then scrambling to fill the spots that were “ held” just in case someone said they would take it.
But what this is about is your unwillingness to be uncomfortable and have an uncomfortable conversation. You are doing yourself, and you are doing your client an incredible disservice.
You see, when we don’t do what we say we’re going to do, we’re not acting with integrity and we’re breaching trust. Yes, I kid you not. When we don’t do what we say we’re going to do, people stop trusting us, which means the stuff that we do inside the room is going to lose its momentum and ability to bring about change.
20 years of this experience tells me I know what I’m talking about here. And I find it incredibly interesting that when you ask any health professional what their values are, they often come up with authenticity, vulnerability and integrity.
So how is it that you’re being authentic when you say to somebody, this is my policy around cancellations and then you don’t follow through with it. And how is that demonstrating integrity when you say, this is my cancellation policy, but you didn’t follow through with it?
I’m sorry people. We’ve got to take responsibility for this, and we’ve got to start making sure that we are training our clients and our prospective clients in the types of behaviors that we’re trying to help them manage and develop inside the intervention room.
Because I can assure you, if you’re allowing one client to do this to you, you’re allowing lots of clients to do this to you. And if you’re allowing a client to do this to you outside of your intervention room, you’re giving them permission to act like this elsewhere in their life.
You are stopping them from being accountable and you’re enabling them.
I need to be strong on this because again, as health professionals, we want to be nice. We want to have these conversations with people in a nice way. We want to help them come to these decisions and conclusions themselves – we want them to go, Hey Jo, I can’t make it today I’ve already transferred the money for the session into your account.
We need to help our people.
The other thing I want to say is that nobody has ever said that you must have a cancellation policy that says that you will charge clients if they don’t turn up.
Nobody is holding your head over a barrel making you say that. If you don’t want to do that, then just make it clear to people what your cancellation policy involves.
Now we have a strong cancellation policy here at Purple Co, you need to give us 24 hours. We can’t refill the spot within 24 hours, but if it’s a big medico legal assessment, I need three days, so I have cancellation policies for different assessments and different types of work. My coaching clients know if you don’t organize your own appointments and you don’t turn up, then you forfeit because it’s written in my agreement and I really need to push back on it because I can’t be managing all the time zones, all of the people and it’s my job to help you become better and not allow you to stay stuck in your own unhelpful patterns of behaviour.
And you don’t want me as a resentful coach, counsellor or consultant. What you want from me is turning up ready to go, not worried about cancellation policies, not worrying about fees, not worrying about how you’re fitting into my time zones. You want me focused on what you need from me right now?
So please, please, please, please, please, please can you give yourself a bit of a stern talking to and find out where you’re breaking trust down for your clients at the moment because you’re not enforcing the things you think you should be enforcing. And if they are things that make you really uncomfortable, learn how to have that conversation. You don’t have to be harsh. You don’t have to be horrible, but you do need to act with integrity. Do what you say you’re going to do.
If this is you and something has made you go “Oh Jo yes but I’ve been giving permission for people to disrespect me for so long, what do I do?”
I would strongly encourage you to have that as a therapeutic conversation. Have that as a part of the conversation in your intervention. Let them know why you’re doing this. Let them know why it’s important. You’re going to improve in your own social and emotional intelligence as a clinician as you learn to have these types of conversations.
When we do this, it will improve the stickability of your clients coming to you, especially private pay clients because this is the type of thing that we are competing on now. Nobody wants to compete on price. I’m not a widget. You’re not a widget. The types of out of the room activities, behaviors, thoughts, insights is where the competition’s at.
If you want some help about how you do this just reach out and ask someone. There are plenty of coaches around who could help you do this. I’ll put my hand up. I can help you to do this and yet you’ll have to book a time and yeah, there will be a fee involved because that’s the way I exchange my value.
Until next time
Go be your awesome self
